Morteza and Karen Khaleghi list several clear signs that someone is enabling an addict:
Source: www.foundationsrecoverynetwork.com
- Ignoring the addict’s negative or potentially dangerous behavior – This behavior can involve anything from overlooking problems to denying that a problem even exists
- Difficulty expressing emotions – Enablers are often unsure how to express their feelings, especially if there are negative repercussions for doing so
- Prioritizing the addict’s needs before her own – While it is natural to want to help loved ones, enabling takes helping a step too far, where the addict has her needs taken care of while the enabler neglects her own
- Acting out of fear – Since addiction can cause frightening events, the enabler will do whatever it takes to avoid such situations
- Lying to others to cover the addict’s behavior – An enabler will lie to keep the peace and to present a controlled, calm exterior
- Blaming people or situations other than the addict – To protect the addict from the consequences of drug abuse, the enabler might accuse other people of causing drug abuse
- Resenting the addict – The result of the above behaviors is that the enabler will likely feel angry and hurt. She may act on these feelings by resenting the addict all while continuing to enable the addiction.
Source: www.foundationsrecoverynetwork.com